by Jeffrey Van Dyk
As we move into 2012 and beyond, things are definitely speeding up! Interestingly, while you may be noticing new opportunities opening up in your life and business, you might also notice old stuff dropping away or just plain old not working anymore. Maybe you are tuning into your clients hearts and needs (and your own) and are creating the most amazing products and services that have every come out of your soul. Maybe old products aren’t landing or working or you just don’t have any juice for them anymore, in which case, things may be landing with a thud on your client’s doorsteps. Marriages may be ending. New relationships may be beginning. It’s a fast moving, fruitful time. And it can be exhilarating, frustrating, confusing, joyful, painful … or most likely a mashup of all of the above.
The thing is, as things speed up so do the cycles of life. So to stay current with the current of this time, you have to become more adept at staying up to speed with these cycles of life, including the ending and completion of things on a regular basis. Our culture is highly adept at birth – at the new – at the beginning of the creation cycle … right up until the fruit is perfectly ripe and perfectly beautiful.
Once the fruit is even a day beyond that moment of “perfection” in its maturation and lifecycle, our culture turns its back on it and looks for the next blossoming. We are so fascinated with the blossoming!
But we are not well versed in the letting go of things. We do not know how to support the fruit falling from the tree. We do not know how to support ourselves in acknowledging when something is done and completing with it. And as things change and move and maturate more and more quickly, we will have more and more things to complete with. When we aren’t complete with something it leaves a trail of energy that leaks out like the slime behind a snail, and that precious energy is the lifeblood of our soul/spirit-led business and life!
But when you can regularly say goodbye to something, bless it and complete with it, you continually clear the deck, creating spaces to welcome in the new. That is when you can stay current with yourself and current with the energy of this planet at this time. It’s also when you’ll stay most current with your market, what they are craving, and what you most long to deliver to them! It’s a beautiful thing that allows you to really enjoy the ride of the amazing energy coming into our planet at this time!
As humans we have an allegiance to our creations, so we have a very difficult time letting our creations go. We also attach identity to creations, which includes products and services, but also includes ways of being and various aspects of personality. We say “I’m the nice one” or “I’m the smart one” or “I’m the bitchy one, nobody better cross me.” And interestingly, the “outer” things we create (like our products and services) coincide with “internal” identity and ways of being. So whether you are changing things in your life externally and needing to complete with them, or doing more internal growth work and shifting, completion is always necessary.
In fact, completing with a way of being “creation” and let it go can be the most challenging thing of all. When you change things inside, you are changing (and sometimes plain old dismantling) your identity. This is a much larger conversation, but I did want to add one piece here. What I find is that when you surrender something (or a way of being) and simply letting it go, it can feel like abandonment … abandoning parts of yourself. But as my wise friend Randy Boles shared with me, when you surrender to something (like God/The Universe/Your Higher Self), it can feel like you are surrendering what you let go of to a greater caretaker. This is always true, but acknowledging this truth helps your ego feel like its contributing something in the letting go, rather than abandoning it. This is part of the ritual of completion.
So how do you “get complete?” This is a larger question than an article can accurately address because so much of this is actually about changing your psychology and identity. However, you’ve got to start somewhere, right!?
To being you have to know where you are “incomplete.” If you have something left unsaid or undone in your business, you are incomplete with it. That’s taken from John James and Russell Friedman’s amazing work in their Grief Recovery Handbook, where they describe the components of grief including things left undone or unsaid.
Take a few minutes right now, to begin.
Start Now! My friend Marcia Wieder uses a simple tool here – just get a piece of paper out and draw a line down the center. Label the left column “Incomplete” and the right column “Complete.” Using the process below, put anything that feels “Incomplete” (unsaid or undone) on the left side, then on the right side write down what you need to do to get complete.
To start, just get still … breathe, get present … center yourself. Now think of your business (or any area of your life).
Think on it – simply ask yourself “where am I incomplete?” and make a list of everything you can think of.
See it – visualize your last few weeks and notice if you’ve been complaining about anything (out loud or in your head) and see what things are left unsaid or undone there.
Feel it – scan your body and feel if there is any constriction you notice. If you find some constriction just breathe into it and ask it what’s incomplete. You may be surprised by what comes up.
Ask yourself “What feels incomplete about this? What’s left unsaid or undone?” Remember, some things may be more overt and obvious and even pretty simple to get complete! However, you may also find that what’s incomplete is how you are “being” in a situation, and to get complete there’s deeper work to do. Or you may have simply become a new person and this area of your business is reflective of an old you or an old business. If that’s the case, getting complete is about finishing old business, business relationships, maybe event products or services. And to get complete you are asking yourself to truly stepping into the life that’s calling you. To feel the desire in your heart, the fire in your belly and the calling to who you are now – and to follow it!
This truly is a different time. You truly can live a different life. And you can step out of old patterns more readily than ever before, if you want to. Our greatest hope is that you bring all of you to the game! Bring all of you – your energy, your heart, your talents, your passion, your skills, your guidance, your empathy … your essence … and express it fully! Your business is your holy work! And your holy work is being asked for at this time by more people than ever before.
Thank you for showing up!
-Jeffrey
father grew up and some of my cousins currently live. Beyond a great family visit, I was in town for a few other things including completing the sale of an important painting of my father’s to the new and very beautiful Falls City Library.
If an uneducated but talented boy from a small town, who’s dad was a haberdasher and who never even received formal art training, could grow up to become one of the foremost American illustrators of the 20th century … then we all have a chance, don’t we? Whatever you are dreaming, please don’t hold back, because there really is magic and grace in it. Best of all, you are simply doing what you are meant to be doing … the very job you were designed for in this life.
